At about twelve years old, my parents took me to be tested for ADD/ADHD and I was officially diagnosed with ADHD. In the early 2000s, that didn’t really mean too much as there was not much research explaining all of what it entailed to have this mental disability.

Recently, in the past 2 to 3 years, I decided it was time to finally figure out everything that came with having ADHD and how to work with it. I was tired of what felt like years of paddling up stream… in the rapids. I started with podcasts that talked about overall health and wellness, the first one was recommended by my chiropractor. It’s what really started my journey. Then the algorithm worked its magic and I found myself looking at videos from a specific channel that I’ll happily mention here as it helped me understand things so much better. It is a podcast called ADHD Chatter… (I’m NOT affiliated with them in any way, it’s just a great podcast).

It was here that I learned how to explain the way my brain thought about things and why certain situations affected me so much (like overstimulation in large gatherings). Admittedly, I didn’t catch on that it was the Instagram page for the podcast, I was only seeing videos where the host (Alex Partridge) explained how ADHD worked in ways that made sense for everyone. What struck me the most, was the fact he explained how ADHD specifically shows itself in women. Not much research does that.

After binge watching the Instagram videos, listening to the podcast episodes, and even purchasing his book, I started noticing better ways to work with my brain and not against it. I’ve found other content creators since then that have given great insight and even tips on how to work with my brain (though I’m not big on the new trend with using leash to keep an ADHD person on task). 

The biggest hurdle for me that I’m working on is being comfortable explaining to people how my mind works without fear of what the other person will say. Explaining that my attention doesn’t work the same because I don’t always get a choice about what I focus on or even when I have focus. A recent example was explaining my cleaning habits to my parents. I explained how I may not always do the dishes right away after cooking or baking because it’s not a dopamine driven task for me. I’ll sit and take a moment to give my mind a break, then go back and take care of everything. Or, the best method that has been working the best for me is making it a part of my bedtime routine. I’ll set aside an extra 20 mins, put on an audiobook, and then take care of the clean up. It was scary to explain this, but I’m happy I did. The way I explained made sense to them. I felt like a small step forward.

Why does it feel so important for those of us in the neurodivergent community to share how our brain works in a way that others understand? It makes our life easier, at least that’s my opinion. It always felt like I had to conform to what everyone else was doing or do things the way they had to in order to get by. Some kids can be quite mean to others when they don’t understand. I got quite a few of the following: 

“Why are you so weird?”

“Can’t you sit still?”

“No one is interested in hearing facts about (insert topic here) right now.”

“Why can’t you be normal?”

“What are you even doing?”

That last one, it got to me quite a bit. I have weird little fidgets that appear odd to other people, but they help me…well most of them. I’m not very proud of picking the skin off from around my fingernails. Turns out that’s an anxiety response. Years of getting little comments or criticisms like that have made it difficult to drop the mask, even around my family from time to time. It’s made me feel disconnected from them. I know that’s not really true, but it can be difficult to get past that feeling.

Now, it may seem like having ADHD was all bad for me. Not true. When I learned how to start working with my brain and figuring out techniques to get things done, I view it more as a gift. The way I can get obsessed and learn about an entire topic within 1 week or how I can hyperfocus for hours on something I love doing. Most recently it has been me being locked into to writing article like this one and painting. 

While explaining ADHD has become easier, it’s not guaranteed everyone will understand. I have high hopes though. It helps that more and more people are opening their minds to be more understanding to us neurodivergents. If someone in your life is this way, it helps to be more open minded to learning about our mental state than being judgemental. What you think is helping, may actually be hurting or causing them to feel negatively. Do some research to help gain understanding, there’s lots out there.

This won’t be the last time you’ll be hearing about me living with ADHD as an adult, but it’s a nice little introduction. So, until next time…safe exploring everyone!