“I need to have music in the background while multitasking 3 different things at once. It’s how my brain works.”

I’ve used that phrase to explain my ADHD to several people over the years because I believed it was working. How wrong I was about myself. This isn’t the technique I needed, it’s the only one that felt right. However, I kept hitting burnout pretty quickly because I didn’t understand the balance of recovery time needed to maintain things.

One day, I was driving to work and realized I was coming at this whole mess in my head the wrong way. I was always looking for something stimulating to listen to, a spicy audio, a more interesting podcast, music that had certain elements to it, etc. However, when I found it, the dopamine hit I got didn’t last. It’s like I needed more and more. That’s when I realized that I was overdosed on dopamine and required a detox of some sort. So the thought train kept going. The full realization hit me and I wasn’t sure I’d like the solution. 

A dopamine detox of sorts. For as much as I wouldn’t like it, I’d sit in “silence” at work (the quotes are there cause it’s not all that quiet in the office or warehouse parts). I still put my headphones on, so people think I had something playing and was focused on my work, but really nothing was playing. When I drove home that day, I muted the radio. Things felt a bit uncomfortable. I knew this feeling would be temporary. Now, I still had my sleepy-time-background music going on each night, that one was too hard to give up with the anxiety I felt. I also still watched a little TV after work. 

Was this the best way to go about things? That will really depend on what works for you as an individual. For me, I noticed a difference after doing this for about 3 or 4 days. My sleep quality improved and my focus at work began improving as well to the point where I had some Lindsey Sterling music on low for the last half of my shift. 

This method worked. I kept thinking I needed more and more simulation to keep my brain focused. Turns out, I needed less. Having less noise, less stimulation, really helped me to bounce back a little more.

The next step in this journey for me, will be to create a self-care routine that will make things easier for me to reset at the end of the day. Lately, work has made me feel like I’ve been dragged through the mud littered with sharp rocks (some analogy, I know!). By the time I get home, I don’t want to do anything, including restarting videos for my youtube channel. So, I’m making a “menu” of sorts for little resets that I know work for my brain. 

This list includes: yoga, quality time with my hubby, drawing, reading fiction, a mellow youtube video, having a mindful moment (more like 10 minutes), reminding myself of all the good things that happened, extra play time with my trio of kitties, cuddling with my 4ft stuffed shark (yeah you read that right), and creative writing. 

I know it’s no guarantee one of these will work every time. That’s why I leave a couple empty slots for any new methods that work. By rotating them, it means my brain has the variety it craves while getting the mental reset it needs at the moment. If I’m unable to decide, I’ll roll a D6 or D10 or D12 (for those unaware, the number is how many sides are on the dice, I admit to collecting pretty tabletop rpg dice as well). The dice decides so I don’t have to and it takes away that decision fatigue I have. 

Moral of the story here, it’s always good to take a moment and recognize if you might need less stimulation instead of more to mentally reset. Or maybe you just need a single night a week instead of several days together. Or maybe none of this works, but you found a method you love. It’s always best to know what helps you to mentally reset at the end of a long day or a long week. Always take care of yourself. Refill your cup so you can go back to being able to help others.

Thanks for making it to the end. Remember to care for yourself the same way you have cared for others. You are worth it too! Until next time, safe exploring!